


A Future Lived in Past Tense

by inbarati



Category: Alpha Centauri, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ender's Game - Card
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-14
Updated: 2010-04-14
Packaged: 2017-10-08 23:03:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inbarati/pseuds/inbarati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nods to tabaqui, whose amazing Spander-in-Space story, Scaling Heaven is the seed that made this fic grow in my head. Elements taken from the Orson Scott Card book,  Xenocide, The Firaxis PC game,  Alpha Centauri and all kinds of Slavic myth. I've run roughshod over a bunch of universes here, and I apologize ahead of time to anyone who might be offended. The Slavic myths you'll have to look up yourself, since there are many of them, but I've linked to overviews of the other stuff above. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, it might be best to check those out first. An asterisk (*) denotes a direct quote of source material. An ansible is a faster than light communication device, conceived by Ursula LeGuin, and expanded on by OSC for the Ender series.<br/>Summary: A thousand years in the future, Earth has been destroyed, but Xander knows the secret to immortality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Bright?" Xander yelled from the control room. "Can you come up here? I'm about to get Yaga on the ansible."

"How many times do I have to tell you that my name is Han Qing-jao? If you must say my name in your marble-mouthed language, it is Gloriously Bright. Have you no respect for my culture or my glorious ancestor?"

"Pfft. Like you have any respect for my culture. And your glorious ancestor was the only person on your planet who insisted on continuing to be crazy after your people were freed from compulsory OCD. And we both speak my marble-mouthed language."

"Twinkies are not a culture. And you speak at least a dozen languages at this point, Koschei Gong. I know you know enough Chinese to say my name." Qing-jao put her hands on her hips.

Xander crossed the room and put his hands over hers. "But then you wouldn't put your hands like that and glare at me, and I'd miss it." He grinned and kissed her. "You know you're cute when you're angry." He pulled her closer as she huffed and rolled her eyes. "Besides, once we've done this you're going to become Qing-jao Harris," he murmured in her ear.

She looked up, and took Xander's face in her hands. "I will stay with you whether you marry me or not, Xander Harris. Our souls are halves of the same whole."

Xander whispered, "The husband longs for his whole self, which was made of the husband and wife together.* It's taken me a thousand years, but I think I'm finally able to let go of my fear of commitment." He smirked.

Qing-jao smiled. "I have taught you well." She smoothed her hand over his patch. She frowned a little. "You could become Han Xander? Or Han Koschei, if you still want to use an alias."

Xander couldn't help but kiss her again. "Bright, there's a millennia between me and the memories of my dad, but only a year between you and being godspoken on Path. I spent hundreds of years wandering around, trying to fight on the side of good, Champion for the Powers, atoning for surviving when my friends didn't. You helped me be alive again. You've given me so much. Let me give you my name."

Qing-jao buried her face in his chest, embarrassed by his unusual effusiveness. As he stroked her hair, he thought of how she reminded him of all the people he had loved before her. Her intelligence of Willow, her attitude of Cordelia, her warrior spirit of Buffy, her bright, innocent smile of Dawn, her straightforward and vocal appraisal of everything around her of Anya. He traced the platinum blonde streak in the black hair that flowed from her left temple, an anomaly resulting from the genetic manipulations that made her godspoken. The color made him see blue eyes full of tears. When the Powers that Be had sent Xander off-planet, Spike had resisted. They had fought for months. Nearly two hundred years of fighting side by side, more than half of that time shagging between battles, and neither of them had ever said the words Xander had longed to say every day since. Spike had left their house the night before Xander was to leave, to go get drunk. Xander had never seen him again.

Earth had sent one last ship of survivors off-planet, when Earth had become uninhabitable less than one hundred years later. The best of the best, the cream of the crop. They had lost their ansible in the explosion that had wrecked their ship, the Unity. Separated from the rest of humanity, they had been forgotten during the war with the Formics. (Xander refused to refer to them as Buggers, much to Qing-jao's amusement.) When the first Speaker for the Dead had discovered philotic faster-than-light travel, connecting the colonized planets closer than had been possible before, Chiron had not been included. Xander had been in the Fox Army during those wars, but did not remember them clearly. Indeed, the centuries since he had left Spike behind on Earth had seemed interminable, and he had thought about death many times. In the end, he had decided that it would dishonor the memory of his friends, who had fought so hard for not only their own lives, but to save the world he had failed to save himself. And so he went on living.

The wars had ended, the Hegemon died, Starways Congress had been reformed into the more democratic Intergalactic People's Council. Xander had 'commandeered' a small cargo ship from the fleet, in the confusion, and started smuggling. The concept of 'demon' had lost it's meaning with the discovery of non-human life in their dimension. Extra-terrestrial, extra-dimensional, tomayto tomahto. After six hundred some odd years of sleepwalking through various wars and battles with other species, he had been called to smuggle a package away from a planet called Path. He had been surprised to see the 'package' was a young woman. He hadn't known she belonged to the government until they started shooting at him. The white knight he had been ignoring for so long had kicked in, and instead of accepting the offer of a reward for Han Qing-jao's return, in an amount sizeable enough to see him through most of the next century, he had gone Outside briefly, reentering the universe about three hundred light years from Path.

An ansible bulletin had gone out to all the planets under the Council, offering a reward for Han Qing-jao's capture. So he had called in favors, used his contacts, and found the last planet without an ansible. Qing-jao would be safe on Chiron.

The months spent with only each other for company, on the edge of the known universe, researching, brought back to Xander what he had missed about Sunnydale. Reading Earth's transmissions, hacked from the ansible network, 'Han Nushi' and 'Koschei Gong' became 'Bright' and 'Xander'.

On the anniversary of the night Spike had left, Xander's last night on Earth, Xander got drunk. He had a still in his quarters made out of old engine parts, and he brewed from whatever grain he could scrounge from the planets he visited. Path's grain made incredibly strong booze. Xander got drunk enough to cry and scream until Bright came down to see what was wrong. When he told her he couldn't tell anyone she had simply sat with him and held his hand until the tears had stopped, and the alcohol had pulled him into unconsciousness.

The next morning she entered his quarters quietly with a gallon of water and some prystia root, a painkilling plant from Path. When Xander was feeling a little less hung over and sitting up, but not really steady enough to leave the bed, she asked the question that had changed everything. "Koschei Gong, how old are you?"

"Uh, what?" Xander was not at the top of his game when hung over.

"I wanted to know why you used that name. I looked it up on the ansible network. Koschei the Deathless, right? But he was evil, and you're not."

Xander still didn't know what made him tell her the secret he had kept for so long. "I'm not him. I killed him, almost a thousand years ago on Earth, before it was destroyed. The field where he died sprung up with blue roses. In return, the witch who lived in that field made me a potion that made me immortal. It seemed like a good idea at the time," he said in response to the look she shot him.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You're thinking about the past again, Koschei Gong," Bright chided him, kissing his chest.

"Yeah," Xander sighed, "remembering how you came to me. We should call Yaga. We'll need her help for what we need to do."

Hey set the frequency for Yaga's planet, on which she was the sole sentient inhabitant. She preferred it that way, and Xander brought food and magic supplies when he passed though, in exchange for magical protection of various sorts, information, and the occasional Twinkie. He had no idea where she got those.

Yaga was not her usual acerbic self. "Koschei!" she greeted in a voice considerably less ragged than usual. "The fertilizer you brought last time is amazing! Will you be able to get more?"

A little nonplussed by the cheerful greeting, Xander replied, "Yes I believe so. I can hear the roses blooming in your voice." He was careful to phrase nothing as a question. Yaga had been a human woman, immortal by the same potion that she had made for Xander. Somewhere in the darkness of Russia's distant past, she had met the Koschei that Xander had killed. Koschei had been human as well until he removed his own soul, using magic to give it physical form, and then hiding it. He would drain the life force from particularly strong beings, trying to bolster his strength, which waned in the absence of his soul. He heard of Yaga's power and immortality, and attempted to take it, but he couldn't. Angry, he cursed her to age a year every time she was asked a question. She devised a potion to undo the aging process, but the main ingredient was a blue rose, which were very rare. After the fall of Sunnydale, Koschei had found that slayers were an excellent source of power. So Xander had set out to find Koschei's soul. Breaking the pin had killed Koschei, but the curse had remained. Fortunately, now there were plenty of blue roses. When Yaga had left the planet, she had been young again, and the roses had been carefully transplanted to alien soil. They hadn't been doing well, and Yaga had aged again.

"Koschei, your mind is wandering. To what do I owe the pleasure of this contact?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. We found Chiron. We need to be sure of our welcome with the right people." Xander hoped Yaga could help.

Muttering in her native Russian, and then in a demon language Xander didn't recognize, Yaga began her spells. "Koschei, are you sure this is the planet you want?" she asked, after a while.

"It's the only one I could find without an ansible network. Qing-jao's description has been circulated on every planet that has one."

"The bones tell me that you will lose something precious here, Koschei. Also that you will find something you lost. If you land here, your destiny will become entwined with that of this planet. You will save this world, or you will die." Yaga's voice had a spooky, far-away quality to it. The Powers were speaking through her.

"And here I was thinking I couldn't do that anymore," Xander joked.

"Everything dies, Koschei. You've killed gods. If they can die, why not a human boy with a tricky spell?" Yaga sounded tired. "Don't go, Xander. Find another planet where the saxifrage will grow. Find another scientist to help you. You are the closest thing I've had to a friend since before I began to learn the arts. Losing you would sadden me."

He pulled Bright close to him. "I have to do what's best for Qing-jao, Yaga. You know that. I'm glad we're friends, though." He smiled. He always seemed to find the super-powered friends.

The bones ratlled again and Yaga sighed. "You are a stubborn and foolish boy. That is probably why I like you. The planetary network is called the Datalinks. The woman you are looking for is Deirdre Skye. The network is probably simple, Qing-jao should have no problem patching in. The many factions have allied so that there are essentially only two. The one your botanist is with seeks to preserve the planet and its native life forms. The native life on this planet is very dangerous, so be careful. That is all the bones have for me, Koschei." Yaga sighed again. "I would wish you all the blessings of my many years, but I'm afraid you have been instrumental in many of them. The Powers are on your side. I hope that comforts you in the trials that await you."

"They're too capricious for that to really be a comfort, actually. We won't have access to the ansible after we've made planetfall, so I guess you'll hear from us when we've saved the world. We'll visit when we're done here. I'll bring some more of that fertilizer, and some vodka, and we'll toast Earth." The comfort reflex was something Xander had never lost.

Caustic Yaga was back. "I'd rather drink Fyarl piss than that concoction you call vodka. Real vodka can only be made in Russia." She chuckled. "I did manage to smuggle several cases off-planet when I left Earth, though. I supposed I could sacrifice a few bottles in the name of friendship."

Xander laughed outright. "Only you would consider vodka essential pioneering equipment." Even Bright giggled.

Yaga laughed too. "It's good to hear you both laughing again. I hope this planet holds what you seek in it."

Bright spoke up. "Thank you, Yaga."

"You are welcome, Qing-jao. Goodbye." The connection went dead.

"That was odd." Xander frowned at the ansible as he turned it off. "It usually takes forever to get her to stop talking."


	2. Chapter 2

After engaging the cloaking spell that Yaga had given them, Xander and Bright packed the landing pod as full of tradable items as they could and still fit in it. Mostly food, as they couldn't really trade tech or serials without revealing the presence of other colonized planets. They intended to tell Deirdre Skye the truth, on the condition that Qing-jao's identity not be revealed. They landed about a hundred meters from the compound Qing-jao had marked as belonging to the Caretakers, the faction in the planet-wide civil war that was dedicated to preserving the planet.

They were regarded with suspicion by the masked guards. Apparently, walking planetside without proper weapons was not something that was done. Xander looked at the assorted knives, axes, and guns they had confiscated from him, and wondered what their idea of a weapon was. They had to go through a lengthy decontamination process, but were ushered into a meeting room directly afterwards, no questions asked. Bright squeezed Xander's hand with a nervousness that she did not betray in her features. They were ushered to seats on one side of an elaborately carved, red-stained table. Their attendant told them to make themselves comfortable, and that someone would be with them momentarily, in accented but clear English. Xander was silently surprised at the lack of dialect after so long without outside contact.

Two beings entered the room from the double door across from the table. On the left was a human woman. Her dark, curly hair was caught up behind her head in a knotworked net. She was wearing what was obviously a robe of office, dyed a similar deep red to the table. In a similar robe of the same color, on the right, was a 'demon' whose species Xander recognized. Vaguely Cthuloid with dangerous-looking tusks was hard to forget. He stood, and bowed formally. Turning to the human woman he said, "Feasgur math, bean-uasal Skye." To the nonhuman woman, he said, "Goosh larga, Siente Hminee."

Both creatures laughed. "There are no titles here, Koschei. You may call me Deirdre," said the smiling human woman. Her counterpart likewise said, "I am called Lular. Please, both of you are our honored guests. Be seated." Her English was heavily accented, but Xander could understand her, and pulling Bright down with him, he sat.

"How did you know my name?" Xander was worried. What if he was wrong and this planet did have an ansible? Would they turn Qing-jao in?

"Do not worry, Koschei. Your secrets are safe. I am a telepath. Your surface thoughts are very loud. If you'd like to stay, I will teach you to protect them from myself and other telepaths."

"However," interrupted Lular, "we should hear the errand that has brought you from so far away. I take it from your knowledge of my native language that you have come across others of my people in your travels?"

"Yes, Lular, I have met several Conservators on other planets. Is this planet the Sixth Manifold?" Xander had gotten quite drunk with a Conservator in Seyfert's Sextet, before he found Bright.

"Indeed it is! May I assume you also know of the Usurpers?" Lular's alien expressions were difficult to interpret.

Xander hoped he wasn't about to say the wrong thing. "I know of them, but I kind of got the idea they were the bad guys. Kill you as soon as look at you kind of people. And don't they want to destroy the Manifold? Which would be this planet, right?" Xander thought for a moment. "Are they here? I'd like to help you in your fight, if you'll have me." He was pretty sure he was picking the right side of this conflict, seeing as the other guys definitely wanted to destroy Chiron, and according to Yaga he was supposed to save it.

"Do you have military experience?" Lular wanted to know.

"More than I'd like actually." Xander murmured.

Deirdre and Lular exchanged a look. "That's exactly what Gray said." Deirdre replied. "The two of you should meet. He came from off-Planet as well."

A cold, wet slug-demon crawled up Xander's back. Okay, so there were no slug-demons on this planet, but that's what it felt like. He repressed a shiver. "Gray?" he asked, his voice tight. Bright looked sharply at him.

"Yes, he's been helping train our human troops." Lular replied.

"You have non-human troops?" Bright asked.

"Well, yes, aside from Gray, we have convinced several mindworm boils to fight with us. Also, Lular commands six Conservator Foliks." Deirdre said warily.

"Foliks?" Bright raised an eyebrow.

"One folik would be about the size of Fox Army." Xander told her.

"That's a lot of people." Bright looked back at Deirdre. "And what's a mindworm boil?"

"Mindworms are one spawn of the fungus. One of them can burrow beneath a human's skin, and devour their entire brain. It's a slow, painful process, accompanied by hallucinations and delirium. They are the planet's way of protecting its ecosystem. If we terraform or industrialize too much, the incursions by unfriendly boils become more frequent in that area, until the fungus is able to grow there again." Deirdre explained.

"You're telling me that the planet can think?" Xander was incredulous.

Lular chuckled. "Well, the fungus is sentient, and it covers the planet."

Bright bounced a little. "Have you studied the fungus? Does it have a neural net? How did it attain consciousness? Do the mindworms share a consciousness with the fungus? Does the fungus have other spawn? It kind of sounds like you meant there were. How did you discover that the fungus was sentient?" She took a deep breath, looking between Deirdre and Lular.

Deirdre laughed. "You can spend some time with me in the labs while Gray and Koschei get acquainted."

"Speaking of the labs, have you heard of a plant called saxifrage?" Xander looked at Bright.

Deirdre frowned thoughtfully. "An Earth plant, yes?" She waited for Xander's nod before continuing. "Extinct now?" He nodded again, and took an envelope out of his inner pocket and dumped it into his hand. There were four saxifrage seeds.

"Can you grow these?" Xander tried not to look as needy as he felt.

Deirdre held out her hand, and Xander handed her the seeds. "They're too old to germinate properly. I might be able to extract enough genetic material to grow the plant."

"Would you try, please? You can consider it my payment for whatever my help is." Xander looked deep into Deirdre's eyes.

"How will you live here, without a stipend?" Lular wanted to know.

"We have access to an interplanetary communication device, called an ansible. You will be able to contact all the other planets in the Intergalactic People's Council." Bright replied. "I can help you rewire your network to be compatible."

"Intergalactic People's Council?" asked Lular.

"After you were sent from Earth, there was a war with an alien species called the Formics." Bright explained. "There was a diaspora, just before the Formics destroyed Earth. There are nearly fifty terraformed, colonized planets in this galaxy, and many hundreds in known space. With contact, you'll be able to establish trade."

Lular and Deirdre exchanged a look. "We will have to discuss the ramifications of this for our peoples." They stood. "We will speak to you again, once we have conferred, "Lular said.

Xander and Bright also stood. Bright bowed.

"An attendant will be here to bring Qing-jao the lab, and Xander to the training arenas, momentarily." Deirdre bowed as she spoke, and she and Lular turned and left the room.

The attendant was there only moments later. Xander kissed Bright as they parted ways at the lab. He followed the attendant to the arenas, and nodded to the young man as he left. He opened the door, and froze.

Spike was standing in front of a group of about 50 people. They were all wearing gas masks, and armor, with gloves, and helmets that covered their whole heads.

"Again!" Spike roared, and the armored group went through a series of katas that Xander was intimately familiar with. It was the first thing Spike had ever taught him about fighting. He had been doing them every morning since before Sunnydale had fallen.

Spike strode towards him. He was wearing his usual black, but in the style Xander had seen on the attendant. It was strange to see him without skin-tight denim.

"Koschei," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I take it you are Gray, then?" Xander stood in as non-offensive a pose as he could manage.

Spike nodded and opened a door at the back of the room, holding it open and looking pointedly at Xander. Xander took a deep breath, and entered the room. "Wait here for a sec, gotta get someone to finish the session." Spike walked out. Xander sat down on the padded bench and breathed deeply, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening, knowing Spike would be able to smell them. It didn't matter how many centuries went by, he would never be 'over' Spike. Seeing him was a shock, after so long.

Spike came back, shutting and locking the door behind him. He and Xander looked at each other for a long moment. Both their eyes filled with tears. Xander stopped being able to breathe when Spike went down on his knees in front of him. "Xander," he said in a broken voice.

"Spike, whatever you're going to do, don't do it. I can't take it. I'm with someone. I'm happy."

"Xander, I'll do anything. Whatever it takes for you to forgive me." Spike wasn't crying, but his voice was strained like he was holding back tears.

Xander, on the other hand, had tears rolling down his face. "For what it's worth, I forgive you, Spike. I've never stopped loving you. But I'm with someone. I'm gonna marry her."

"We've all heard that before." Spike's face twisted into a sneer. "Besides, what are you going to do when she dies?"

"She's not going to," Xander said flatly.

"She's not like you, Xander. She's mortal."

"Not after Yaga makes the potion, she won't be."

"That's why you're here." Spike sounded sad. "Deirdre's going to grow the saxifrage here."

"Yeah."

"Okay." Spike choked on an unneeded breath. "I wish you both the best." There was a long pause. "I have Alpha and Beta Squadrons. I'll assign you to Delta and Gamma, so you don't have to see me unless you want to."

Xander wiped his face. "Yeah, okay. Where do I go?"

"First you need to go to the armory, and get outfitted. Delta and Gamma are in the third arena."

"Yeah, okay. I guess I'll see you around then."

"Yeah. Xander?"

"Yeah, Spike?"

"I still love you. If you ever need me, you know where to find me." Spike left the room.

Xander sat with his head in his hands until Bright came looking for him. Looking into her eyes, he thought about telling her about Spike, err… Gray, but he didn't know how.


End file.
